I guess this inevitably had to be brought up on this blog as its own topic at some point, and seeing possibly one of the there-are-no-girls-on-the-internetfastest growing threads ever spawn on MMO-Champion I felt now would be a pretty good time to write about it. Now, I think I’m obviously relatively biased on this whole ‘girl gamers’ subject, being that I’m engaged to one that I may have met through the game. I guess to an extent that lumps me in with these guys that descend into a rabid collective of rampantly masturbating primates as soon as the subtle tones of a female are heard over Ventrilo. I’d consider myself to have slightly more tact though.

I fear this isn’t going to be as toxic and satirical as usual posts, but I’ll try my absolute bestest. The general consensus on girls joining guilds is that everyone will throw all of their toys out of the pram, either because they want to be the one to dick the hotty, or because they don’t want to get dicked over because of the hotty. Whether this girl is even hot or not is a whole different ballgame in itself, because generally chronic closet-dwellers that make up a vast proportion of the vocal playerbase have either pornography or their mothers to go by for comparison. In the infamous D&T scandal, both cards were brought in (comparing vaginas was possibly the most hilariously funny and out-of-line thing I’ve ever seen on the interwebs). Generally though, if it has breasts and a couple of holes it’s fair game for everyone to try their hardest to be the one to pass the checkered flag at the hallowed entrance to the afro clam. Compliments, money, epics and ingame flowers will be thrown at the potential bride-to-be as love declarations are made from the rooftops to try and bag this new and elusive creature. So, is recruiting a girl good or bad for your guild?

This thread seems to think they are THE DEVIL, at least to start with. As soon as a girl is invited, you have trouble on your hands. They’ll want to be an officer, they’ll be sleeping with the GM for epics and raid spots, they are terrible players and furthermore, filthy semen-gargling harlots. Well I’d say I’ve seen a couple of them on DB, Herlana lol. A rogue with full T6 and glaives that boasts 2k DPS on Archimonde, which they only achieved through Heroism, haste pots and the fight only having lasted 45 seconds at the point of the screenshot. I think it’s fair to say that due to being fervently fapped over, someone got a bit ahead of themselves. There was a gnome rogue back in my guild in vanilla who got spoonfed gear despite being on follow all the time and doing less overall damage than the healers over the course of an MC run. I don’t really need to say more, do I? I think it’s pretty unfair to lump them all into this one catergory though, as more often than not this is someone else’s fault.

Yup guys, it’s all on you, as this poster not-so-eloquently points out.

they cause drama BECAUSE of men, most of the guys don’t ever go outside let alone talking to girls (and i said most, not all) so as soon as they hear a female voice over ventrilo they go nuts, because behind a computer they feel safe and have that selfconfidence that don’t have irl, the girl is probably a normal girl, but nowadays any girl that it is not fat or very ugly is considered HOT by those men (or kids in some cases) so yea the men think they’re in love after the girl talked to them twice about the game, if your good people are like this you better keep girls out of the guild, because when the guys start going after the girl they will enjoy the game less.. which results in not giving 100%.

sad thing is they don’t need much to feel in love, just play one time with a girl and they will want to give her gold, materials, help of any kind, epics (ive seen guys passing on this epic that both a girl and a boy need just to make a point on her) etc, so yea girls cause drama, but it is usually not her fault (ive also met girls that take advantage of their situation and i think its good).

oh.. what about these guys that act like girls just to have that special consideration?.. i love em

ps. oh yea most of the times the girls aim to the gms, officers or people with some kind of power in the guild that ensures them raid spots (because most of them aint the best players in the world.. you know) or items.

Trufax m8z. Some girls will have this agenda where they’re deliberately going to be terrible and get carried through life, either because Daddy says his little princess was beautiful, or because a vast majority of WoW players wouldn’t know a breast if it hit them in the face and so hit on things they know to be female endlessly just to hopefully reach the holy land. I think Katie’s recent application was a pretty fair example as I pointed out in my last post. Let’s face it though, if guys who were just itching to score with anything didn’t play up to the fact that a girl was around and didn’t cause drama, demand they got loot, feed them loot and go batshit crazy as soon as one appeared, I imagine this whole retarded stereotype wouldn’t even exist. I’ll put my hand up and admit I was one of ‘those guys’ to a much lesser extent back when I was 16, 17… probably 18 and my need to get action outside of drunken school parties was far more evident, but I’d like to think I snapped out of it somewhere along the line 😦

Most girls are actually pretty decent, while not all will be fantastic players, neither are all guys. Some guys are flat out terrible at the game just the same. The New Expedition is full of women, some have been terrible for drama, some have been not so good at pulling the numbers, and some of them have been astounding. While I’d say the drama thing is probably less apparent in the Penis Owners Association, it’s not entirely free of it. Now, as much as it’d be in the vein of this blog to rip into various members of my guild in a loving and caring fashion, I’m not going to. I’m just going to agree with this guy (for the most part).

They generally:
* causes less drama
* swears less (if not at all)
* make good healers: patient, good at micro-management and multi tasking
* dislike melee-type classes
* dislike tanking
* couldn’t care less of stroking e-peen

By far the funniest thing to come out of this whole ‘grls in WoW’ phenomenon are the guys pretending to be women. Yes, I play female avatars, sue me. I have however never stooped to the level of actually pretending to be one IRL. As profitable as it can be. (Hai Jeniffer). Yes, some guys are so desperate for some lovin’ that they’ll even throw gold at something that might be a woman. In poker terms, I guess you could say he was just taking the pot odds and figuring that if he repeatedly throws money at this hand, he’ll eventually win one. Soltys, I salute your dedication to the cause of thrying to find any woman online to the point where you have indeed found one that is unattainable, and will happily announce that you’ll wait for their ‘occupier’ to die just to be with them. Such dedication and romance is hard to find these days, especially in a virtual environment, and so I feel the need to commend you.

I don’t know what you guys think of the whole thing, or this post even but then I don’t care what you think about that. Generally, I reckon if some guys weren’t so socially awkward that they only had one option for scoring, and thus drool relentlessly at the chance of scoring with that special guildy, then women generally wouldn’t be treated as completely different entitiess when it comes to gaming. As it stands though, it just leaves it far too open to abuse, both for shameless women who love to whore that attention, and for guys who are okay with leaving their one eyed milkman on the sidelines for a while just to get ahead. Bottom line is, if you need to fap over your dream woman that just got invited to the guild 5 minutes ago and is now the love of your life, at least make sure they’ve got a microphone first. And even if they do, beware that they’re not a pre-pubescent boy, sex offences are serious business.



11 Responses to “GRL IRL!?”

  1. Women trying to bribe men with tits are just as bad as men that let them do that and walk all over themselves.

    I really find the whole topic somewhat sad, even if I’m not completely innocent myself, but sexuality will always be a major fundament of social life, on the Internet as well as in real life. The only thing that changes on the Internet is the capacity for anonymity and the lack of some barriers that separate people in real life.

    • mmoredrama Says:

      If it wasn’t for the fact that thousands of years of religion and female oppression have caused us to think it, we wouldn’t have all of the restrictions around sex anyway. I personally don’t think I would say women who use their tits are “bad”, and neither men who fall for them, we’re primarily animals and our bodies are supposed to attract each other so that we can gain from one another sexually, and evolution and survival are the key reasons ofc, but material and immaterial gains shouldn’t be illegal for us to obtain through the use of our sexualities.

      I believe in equal rights for men and women, but don’t ever see it as being feasible mostly because of stereotypes and, well, habits never dying completely. So even as a “feminist”, I don’t see the harm in abusing our powers for our own good. I don’t feel I do in an internet environment unless being blatant and generally ironic (e.g. the Noble Europeans application), but I almost definitely use my feminine charms to my advantage IRL as often as I feel its required.

      But then, I could be called a hippy, or as the generous and kind friends at high school would call me “Slutty McNutty”. 😉

      – Katie

      • Totally agree on the religion restrictivity part. After all, the easiest way to rule over humans is to make them fear the sin that is their own bodies. What we’re dealing with these days are the results of religion suppressing sexuality over so many centuries – and we won’t be free of the stigma for a long time.

        Equal rights can work even with women and men being fundamentally different. The issue is that if a woman wants to excel in something that is not inherently a feminine path, she should have every right to be treated fairly.

        Playing up your gender – well, I’ll admit I’m shifting my stance – this mostly applies to the Internet. In real life, it’s fine to some extent – I’ll agree on that.

  2. I also think there’s a growing misconception (mostly male) that any woman who disapproves of another female player (for whatever reason), is automatically a woman-hater / jealous / wants to be the only unique female snowflake / is trying to cause drama.

    Maybe the men are so blinkered by OMGBOOBS that they interpret 2400dps as 4200, or can’t quite equate that a horrendous player is posting a multitude of sem-naked pictures (think Miley Cyrus in the show scandal) simply to hide an array of (gaming) sins.

    Sometimes, I am ashamed to be female.

    • mmoredrama Says:

      It’s not “our” fault though, and one glance at your performance in TNE raids shows that you more than justify your spot. There’s no case in TNE of a girl getting preferential treatment because she’s a girl and there are a lot of guilds out there like that. Like Martyn said, TNE is packed to the brim with women, and its perhaps the most drama free guild I’ve ever known.

      No need to be ashamed! It’s the mens’ fault for being so starry eyed whenever something with a vagina appears. The girls who take advantage of this are just clever manipulation princesses who exploit the weaknesses of their situation!

  3. Apparently putting “Lesser-than” character is interpreted by a HTML parser or whatever the fuck. Either way, fix it. Time to post my comment, take 3:

    In my guild, the 2 women were absolutely horrible players. 3.2k DPS on patchwerk in full t7, less than 4k DPS on Archavon (LOL) in Ulduar gear, etc.

    They got most raid invites. Why? Because their girly voice brought all the nerds to their yard. Literally. One player cybered with her CL mid-raid while “learning” Auriaya (LOL2.0) and another pretty much cybered with webcams (OMG BOOBS DURR) with every CL and higher rank.

    I called them pet-collecting, cybering niggers. I made sure the officers knew of that. I whined long and hard to the people with IQ above room temperature in high ranks that it pisses me off that terrible dipshits are allowed to try hardmodes when I know they’ll play with a dildo up their asses.

    My reward? When the guild stopped raiding I was promptly gkicked and banned from the forum.

    Lesson learned from this experience… is?

    • mmoredrama Says:

      They all seemed to work fine, sweet pea.


      • A significant portion of the comment’s content was between ‘lesser-than’ and ‘greater-than’ symbols which are apparently parsed as HTML code.

        Please delete the two comments that make no sense.

  4. mmoredrama Says:

    That said, I can see why it would be an issue to be a male in a guild where that kind of favouritism was happening. Never been in one like that though, or at least I don’t think so. When I was in my first guild I was dreadful, but I don’t think they brought me along for the fact I was a girl, I think they brought me along because they had a couple of spare spots and I would sign up for everything.

    • I have this paranoid dipshit feeling that there was something about your girly voice. Signing up for everything should not guarantee a raid invite, especially if you’re dreadful. Sure, the delusion makes you feel good and stuff.

      However, any raid leader who cares about a dead dragon more than girly voice in his speakers shouldn’t invite dreadful players, unless as last resort to fill a slot or that dreadful player happened to play a certain class.

      • mmoredrama Says:

        Well, back in 40 man raiding, it wasn’t hard to have a few spare spots lying around. Plus we had all of the raids on farm that I went to. It was one of those guilds which boasted community spirit over progression anyway. *shrug* Dunno.

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