How to apply to a raiding guild

It’s not a habit of ours to make “How To…” posts, but whenever I stumble across a guild’s website, I find myself at the application section before anything else. After reading so many applications, I feel that I’m quite the pro at writing applications now. Plus, I’m one of those lucky folks who can say she’s never been rejected from a guild she’s taken the time to apply to. So, without further ado, I will use examples that I have stumbled across to give you some tips on how to make the perfect application.

It’s not an application, it’s an “apply“.

wrongwrongright

When you’re writing an application to a guild, its important to throw any good grasp of the English language that you may have out of the window. This means changing the noun “application” to the verb “apply” – and this is a pattern I encourage you to continue throughout your application.

Make up your own words.

damieint enthisusasm

As Damieint demonstrates here, it’s absolutely necessary for you to completely invent new words. Forget spell checkers, chuck your dictionary in the bin, and let your creative imagination do the rest. You never know what gems you might find, in Damieint’s case it was “enthisusasm” – a word that I personally will do my best to have implanted in the Oxford dictionary next year.

Don’t beat around the bush…

madden straightforward

In the example above, you will see a raider who knows exactly what he wants. He’s not going to waste time going into the minor details of his interest in the raiding guild, Neophyte – he wants what he wants, pure and simple. It’s important to use a minimal amount of words in your application to keep it short, sweet and choppy – the last thing you want to do is bore your potential new guild with any actual information about yourself!

…But when the time calls for it, don’t be afraid of going into detail.

madden 2muchinfo

Another prime example of Madden’s expertise at writing guild applications – this guy REALLY knows his stuff. As you can see here, Madden has found it necessary to give a bit more away to increase his application and make it really stand out. He has found the perfect balance, and learned exactly where the line of etiquette is.

Make your application stand out from the crowd.

rapsodie killed someone

After reading Rapsodie’s amazing application, it would be hard for the GM to reject this player. He has gone beyond the call of duty and admitted something not many of us would – don’t be afraid to do it, it will make your application stand out! Even if it includes confessing to a murder, do it. Rapsodie did, and I’m sure it paid off for him.

Use your politician skills.

dreathon irrelevant

Don’t want to answer a question? Do what Gordon Brown would do, and dodge that son of a bitch! Dreathon realised that his /played was a bit low, but instead of admitting that he was inexperienced, he used his application writing expertise to avoid admitting this hideous crime. I encourage you to use all of your secret political skills in order to paint the most appealing representation of yourself!

======================================

So, there you have it – the critical hints and tips required to make the application that will bag you your dream guild. You might want to share this powerful weapon with your friends, or keep it to yourself, but rest assured you will never be rejected from a guild again.

Coming next week…

How to make a good reply to an application!

Sneak preview:

Use as many smilies as you possibly can

peliqua smileyreply

All that and more coming up next time on Drama Llamas. Stay tuned, folks.

– Katie

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5 Responses to “How to apply to a raiding guild”

  1. Continuation of a comment thread etc etc.

    First, I have a “How to apply by TEJ” article: http://the-elitist-jerk.blogspot.com/2008/10/zen-and-art-of-guild-applications.html
    It’s obviously written in the appropriate spirit.

    Now to address why you fucked up pulling a TEJ royally.
    1. I never use such form of sarcasm. It’s either very subtle or so visible it’s about to stab you in the face with a burning pitchfork.
    2. There’s no humiliation or abuse. I always do that. Even the tiniest “dipshit” is always present.
    3. After the torrent of humiliation or abuse, there comes a helpful tip like “Get exalted with Sons of Homo or cancel your account”.
    4. Expletives. Need more of them.

    I assume most of this will get covered in “How to reply to applications” post and I expect inclusion.

  2. mmoredrama Says:

    Oh yes, I could tell immediately. It wasn’t half as hateful as your usual style. Too many typos, too many shortened words like “weps”… I’m disappointed to see that you didn’t give him a good written bollocking though. Your eventual emergence as Real Elitest Jerk could have been so much more juicy. Fix it!

    Katie

    • Who said my primary goal was to flame the dipshit who posed as me? My primary goal was to make the dipshit friends I have in that guild know that when I pull a TEJ it’s done with superb quality and not that pisspoor mock-up that idiot did.

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