Archive for the Realm drama Category

Giving PvP a Hand!

Posted in Burning Blade, Daine, Idiocy, PvP drama, Realm drama, Uncategorized, World of Warcraft with tags , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2009 by mmoredrama

World PvP is a pretty rare occurence these days, with most people either ignoring it completely or just having the oddnowhining city raid because achievements are cool. Not so for these guys. Zylos Hand, of Frostwhisper, Ravenholdt, Al’Akir and now Burning Blade, have one mission and one mission only: to gank. A highly cowardly practice, I’m sure we all agree. Bolvar with stupid accents certainly does, proclaiming them ‘some kind of noob guild seriously’, and that they should ‘go raid or something’. Crying about their ganking antics aside, some of the realm seem to really enjoy the new take on things. The Hand have objectives like ganking at stones to cut supply lines, which is pretty cool imo. Due to them being a big pain in the backside, this wonderful month hath been proclaimed ‘Whack-a-Rat’ month, and the great omnipotent King Zylopfa has rallied his troops with this stirring war cry:

Greetings Sharandarat,
your subtle insult against King Zylopfa The Omnipotent
has not gone unnoticed. The iron fist of Zylos Hand will strike down
upon thee and break thee like a rotten tree struck by lightning.

Any Ratty uprising will be delt with swiftly and descicively. We shall see
in the comming days if your mouth spills over with that which your guts hold,
or if you indeed have intentions of fulfilling your redicoulous suggestion of
ratty disobedience.

To break your battle moral, the Zylophian Troubadurs and Bards have
versed their discust towards your being and your faction of furry plague carrying rodents.

Final Breath! Final Breath!
Prepare to meet the final death.
The swif blades of the Zylophians
Will spill your guts in northrend lands.

The next verse is for you Sharanda
for your courage this i’ll hand ya
Your insolence is foolishly unheard of
only a paladin with bubble/hs could dream of.

We shall fart right before you bubble
paladin with fresh air trouble?
You will be begging for mercy soon or late
like bolvar fordragon at the wrathgate.

Be warned insolent rats!
This uprising will be met with ironclad
slayers of the hand, with cow and cowdad
standing side by side defending the land
We are the Ratslayers of Zylos Hand!

Hail And K!LL, and let the battle commence!
King Zylopfa The Omnipresent.

All sounds pretty ace to me. Whining and crying about lame ganking, or a cool attempt to revitalise a dead practice? You decide. Hail and kill. (This is not technically hardcore drama I know, but it’s been dramatised in a lighthearted fashion by the members of the realm that aren’t all whining muppets.)

Moving on, the forums are aflame with complaints of a slightly different nature. Since Patch 3.2, twinks have been up in arms about the split battlegrounds; one for those wanting experience, and those for twinks wanting their free kills. This thread attempted to be a well-thought out argument about why the system is terrible, but came across as some guy whining about how he can’t beat the crap out of lowbies anymore. QQ. The OP was deleted, but some guy quoted it in full at post 10. There are many such threads and they only seem to become even more numerous, but now with the XP change to Battlegrounds, it now seems to be more of a case of ‘what other stupid obsolete crap could we possibly whine about?’. Well, for you lucky readers aspiring to be on the level of the most proficient whiners, here are some suggestions.

1) Not being able to hit higher level players. Yes indeed. How is it fair that even now twinks are gone, I can’t go into a Battleground at minimum level and pwn face with my levelling gear?? Hit needs to be removed from BGs so low levels still stand a chance of killing higher level players. It’s not like level should be an advantage in this game at all, gear and skill should be the only thing that matters!!

2) PvP servers are ruined because you can’t camp anymore! The OP, probably realising what a massive prat he was deleted his post, but I have it right here.

Not only has the destruction of twinks like myself in the BGs resulted from Blizzard’s desicion to activate experience in BGs, it’s also had ruinous effects on PVP servers – now you’re unable to corpsecamp lowbies, as they can just queue for a battleground, rez and immediately press the accept button in order to get their experience through the battlegrounds. This is completely outrageous and destroys the spirit of PVP even more than it already has been with cross-faction characters being enabled. Something must be done about this – perhaps a debuff preventing battleground access for 15 minutes after your death to another player.

Yes indeed, World PvP is dead. No longer being able to grief that level 35 hunter that killed you in STV with your level 80 is a crying shame, and I for one declare this game dead. This could indeed be a very clever troll, but then why delete the OP? Besides, it’s not like you can’t just wait for them to repop exactly where they queued from and kill them again. Hilarious nonetheless.

3) Classes aren’t balanced at lower levels! Well shit, who’da thunk it. As such, all classes should henceforth have identical skills, talents, gear and stats in Battlegrounds along with having their latency universally regulated and only be engageable by equal numbers. PvP should also take place on a rectangular map which is exactly symmetrical, and even then PC framerates might make it imbalanced.

4) Not enough experience from PvP! Yes, it’s indeed unfair that in a game primarily built around PvE, you can’t level as fast in Battlegrounds. You should get free experience for running around the middle of WSG like 90% of the other facerolling tards and just XPLODE-ing your way to 80. I wholeheartedly agree that from now on, PvP in repetitive battlegrounds should be the fastest way to level, and while you’re at it allow Recruit-a-Friend PvP mode which gives you a constant damage buff for HKing your way to victory please. And also…

5) You don’t get enough gold from levelling. If you do choose to level through your beloved, highly challenging battlegrounds, you don’t even get any money for it. Not only that, but the gear upgrades stop at 60! Now, what is the point in experience in BGs if I can’t even get anything from it and I will be underpowered and can’t even afford repairs through my glorious conquest???

Yep, WoW sucks. Not in ways you might think though, we’ve all got the boredom factor, or the free epics, or it getting easier and yadda-yadda sadface. If you wanted to be a bit more original in your Blizzard hate though, the PvP forums are churning out some pure gold in terms of solid, imaginative problems and solutions to make this shitty game back into the powerhouse it once was.

-Daine

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Vewy embawassing

Posted in Deathwing, Guild drama, Katie, PvE drama, Realm drama with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by mmoredrama

embarrassingOnce upon a time, on the realm of Deathwing EU, the guild of <Lockdown> were the most successful, astounding guild that had ever been seen in Azeroth. All wearing their shiney gear in Orgimmar, flexing at the poor peons around them who had never seen the inner walls of Ulduar or even Naxxrammas, Lockdown members were proud to be heroes. So proud in fact, that they were devastated to be selfishly killing the monsters of the world without giving anything back to the community.

All of those lowly peons of Orgimmar would never get to feel the satisfaction of the Ulduar greats falling to their knees (or running back to a certain spot in the room and inviting them to open a chest). Lockdown couldn’t continue to be so victorious and worthy without contributing their fair share to those that would never get to see these marvellous events directly.

“What are we going to do?” squealed the guild master at his minions. “We can’t forget about all of the ‘little people’ that have helped us become the greatest guild on Deathwing! We must do something!”

But nobody could think of anything. They sat in the old guild hall for quite some time, until the sun began to rise outside and the embers of the wooden fire began to crackle and fade away. And then…

“I’ve got it, mon!” called out a troll, excited. “We could invite them to come with us!”

“No, that will never work,” the guild master sighed, placing his corroding head into his rotten hands (he was undead, if you didn’t get it). “Only so many people can enter the dungeon. It’s always been that way.” Nobody knew why, but it was true, so they went back to thinking.

The door to the guild hall creaked open. An elderly tauren hobbled into the room, using his old staff as a walking stick. The guild members looked at him in dismay. Who was this tauren and why had he just invited himself into the room?

He said, “I was standing outside the door. I heard your discussion, and I think I have the perfect answer.”

“You do?” the guild master squeaked, excited. The tauren looked senile, but maybe he had an idea. It was worth finding out.

“Yes,” the tauren replied. “You should make a live stream of the events. You can blast them onto a huge screen in the middle of Orgrimmar for everybody to see. Use trade channel to advertise, or even spam. People must see your success. They must be able to share that glory with you.”

“That’s it!” grinned the guild master. “It’s perfect!” He pointed at a random number of trolls and orcs. “You, sort out the live streaming. You!” He pointed at a level one blood elf. “You start spamming trade chat with our mission – to show the realm our kill of Vezax on hard mode! We will be famous! It’s perfect!”

And so, the plans were in motion. Lockdown rallied the troops, organised the magical screen to appear in the middle of Orgrimmar, and positioned a number of low levels in a city so that they could spam trade chat with links. And the day came. They stood in their formation with their prettiest garments on, with the strongest elixirs and the most reliable fighters. “It is time, men!” the guild leader rallied them before they charged into battle. “It is time to show everybody exactly what we are good at!”

Twenty five members of the Horde charged into battle with the trash before General Vezax (hardmode). They wiped. And they wiped again.

“Turn off the live stream!” called out an ashamed guild master. “Don’t let them see it!”

But it was too late. In Orgrimmar, a worthy and noble tauren druid, destined for many great things, had been one of the only ones in the very small crowd that had bothered to watch Lockdown’s attempts. Watching his heroes, he felt an innate disappointment not dissimilar to the emotional devastation of his level 80 birthday where he didn’t acquire any new shapeshift forms. The anger rose inside of him – all of the emotional investment in Lockdown, his heroes, his idols – was wasted! He needed revenge… It became his mission from that moment on to bring the truth about Lockdown to the masses.

==============

Posting progress on MMo-champ. Spamming tradechat for livestream. Wannabe Ensidia ? Now you only miss sponsors, fans and a community website.” Vewy embawassing indeedy-dums. Lockdown invited the server to watch their victory on a hardmode General Vezax, but couldn’t kill the trash and quickly turned off the live stream in an attempt to save their dignity… Seems Morani wasn’t willing to let it go though. Awesome.

– Katie

P.S. Please remember to check out the comments to this post. We love it when a person we have invited into our hearts and blog posts makes an actual appearance with comments and flames. Incarnia, a self-proclaimed maverick, gives her point of view on the whole “boob scandal” of Al’Akir. *munches*

UPDATE: Al’Akir boob drama – they got the server first, and now we get to see the goods

Posted in Al'Akir, Guild drama, Katie, Realm drama with tags , , , , , on August 8, 2009 by mmoredrama

As Daine mentioned before in this post, a civil war emerged on Al’Akir when a pretty lady named Incarnia offered a boobylicious incentive for her guild so they would work harder toget the server first Yogg+0. And joy of joys, Immersion managed to pull it out of the ballsack and get it done – all in the name of free soft porn, of course.

Well, you may have been conned by the minx as, although she’d previously stated it, she had an evil plan to avoid anybody seeing the full picture. Yes, as a music writer who obviously thinks she has a good chance of being famous one day, Incarnia ignored the fact that posting any picture at all on a realm forum to bribe a handful of horny boys to kill a boss faster is really quite geeky and might damage her reputation as a serious (or at least “cool”) musician, and explained that, “this picture is non harmful and something that I can stand for even in the future if questions arise and this picture was somehow to surface up.”

And, oh no, we weren’t expecting this at all. She didn’t deliver on her promise. SHOCKING AND COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!

IWUVU IMMERSION

Besides the fact that this picture is complete emo and girlish in a bad way, there are a number of things about this picture that probably irritate people everywhere. The teenage boys who were looking forward to seeing the boobies of someone they’ve actually communicated with will of course be agitated by the fact that she didn’t even show cleavage – yes, there’s about as much skin on this picture as there is on the CBBC kiddy shows my cousin watches. The grammar police (including me) will be reeling at the many typos, dodgy sentence syntax errors and, ugh, the letter “U”. And yes, some people who think they’re feminists but actually stand for everything anti-feminism will bitch about the fact that the girl is giving us all a bad name.

A bit of an anti-climax, to say the least, but I’m not sure anybody expected anything else. The word “cocktease” is mentioned, she’s called “chicken shit”, and someone else pipes in, “the little girl posting pics with clouds and hearts… You’re pathetic.”
She probably would have done better to just post her damn boobs!

– Katie

Tentacle beasts, srs bisnis

Posted in Al'Akir, Daine, PvE drama, Realm drama with tags , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by mmoredrama

Yes, yes, it’s another Yogg+0 funtiems thread, but with a twist that links beautifully into my last post about how girls on the interwebs make guys go crazy. Incarnia, of Immersion on Al’Akir-EU has decided that nothing but the server first of Yogg 0 watchers will suffice, and is willing to put herself on the line to prove it in a massively attention seeking way that will have the testorone-filled ritalin addicts of the guild (and the realm) fapping for glory.

Sandra777-1-1

Quoting her, she soooo badly wants to get the realm first on this kill, that this alluring photograph will be revealed in its entirety to her guild members if they manage to bag the kill before Sunday. Fun fun indeed. Apex, presumably their main competition (I wouldn’t know, Celebrity and DarkStorm were both big guilds when I played there) have released counter-propaganda, though I’m not really sure it’d do it for me unless Al’Akir is the primary gay community in Europe. I will agree though that happiness in the pants is paramount to fulfilment in life.

RihaImmersion

With the boobs (and maybe more??) of a potential hotty on offer, talk of sabotage in the ranks of Apex have begun to manifest. What are server firsts compared to stylish pictures that you can wank over to the end of days? Among calls of  Incarnia being a stupid attention whoring bimbo, being one of those wenches who tarnishes the reputation of femlae gamers everywhere, Pewpy comes to the rescue with mad Paint skills to render the mystery and competition null and void with this bad boy.

puzzlecomplete

I can’t be arsed to post the amendment with a dick drawn on because frankly that kind of humour is far below the high standards of this publication. Is the Paint drawing good enough for the community, or do they desire ‘real’ pictures to fuel their wet dreams for eons to come? Will raids be scheduled non-stop until the tits are free on the web for all to see? Does this story make females everywhere wish for a gender change IRL? Tits, drama, e-whores and fanboys, Al’Akir has it all.

-Daine

Competition – who wants 1000 gold? DEFIAS BROTHERHOOD ONLY

Posted in Competition, Daine, Defias Brotherhood, Katie, Realm drama with tags , , , , on August 3, 2009 by mmoredrama

Copied from Daine’s realm forum post here:

gold

Why randomly give away 1000 gold?

We’re not, we’re randomly giving away 1750 gold! Some of you might read it, some of you might not, but as a form of semi-shameless self promotion we’re offering a monetary prize to anyone who stumbles across the DB forums and reads this. We’ve been writing our blog for a couple of months now, and have always wanted it to be a bit more than just something we do for pleasure. Yes, we crave the attention of the masses, and as such we feel it’s necessary to do something like this. I’m not lame enough to come along and be like READ IT PLSSS and so we’ve come up with this.

What do I have to do?

What we’re asking is for whoever reads, has read or might read in the future to write a guest post in the vein of what we write already. There’s a ton of drama on the forums that needs to be spread to the masses for many lols, and we can’t always keep on top of it. That’s where you come in. Write a piece that’s at least 400 words long, image et al, and email it to us at mmoredrama@googlemail.com. The closing date for entries is midnight this Sunday, which should be the 9th August. First prize is 1000g, second place 500g, third place 250g. All three winners will be posted and the work will be accredited to them.

1000g isn’t much lol?

Sod off.

Where can I read the blog?

https://mmoredrama.wordpress.com

Where do I send my entry?

Again, mmoredrama@googlemail.com

Are there any limitations on entries?

One entry per person, and you must be a resident of Defias Brotherhood. As such, when sending your entry, ‘sign’ it at the bottom with your character name and guild. Members of TNE/other friends are welcome to enter, but no favouritism will be applied. All we want is something funny that matches our tone, and seeing as we’re giving away the last vestiges of our gold we don’t particularly care who wins it!

—————-

After that short, sweet and massively entertaining Q&A, we look forward to reading your entries and hope to see our views and comments skyrocket over the next week so that we can bask in our own fame and egos. If all goes well then there will be more, bigger, better ideas in the future.

Oops, no title.

Posted in Agamaggan, Bloodhoof, Katie, Realm drama with tags , , , , , on July 28, 2009 by mmoredrama

I was pleased to find that drama “bye” threads were not a thing of the past, as proven on Bloodhoof when Grievous announced his decision to transfer to a hardcore guild on Blade’s Edge, who have Ulduar on hard mode. Exciting stuff, and his server mates all flocked around to wish him the fondest of farewells in a Leaving Ceremony like none other before it. Until the level <10 trolls happened to gatecrash the do within the first 3 posts, that is.

Seeing the faceless trolls rallying for grief to be brought to Grievous, many level 80s decided to step out from behind the shadow screen and reveal their true identity as they admitted their own sadness over their loss. Moonpie put it most eloquently, I feel. This can also be our Quote of the Day, as it is so apt in describing the devastation that Bloodhoof felt over the untimely departure of their greatest player…

Quote of the Day

Goodbye. I will always remember you fondly as one of Bloodhoofs all time great druids. Everyone knew your name and you will be missed dearly. I always looked up to you as a druid, copied your specs and gear choices. What I’m trying to say here is… I love you Grevious. I need you in my life like a flower needs the sun. My world revolves around you and I spend every waking moment desperately seeking your attention and approval. Now that you have gone I feel there is a void in my life that cannot be refilled.

I will always dream of you and whenever I hear the sounds of a laughing baby or see a new sunrise or the blossoming of a rose on a spring morning. I will whisper your name and think of you.

I love you.

xx

gbye

The authenticity of Grievous’ claims was brought to attention too, when Bop of Chimera said, “As the Blood Elf said, there are no guilds on The Horde side that have actually killed Yogg-Saron yet, so either the definition of hardcore has been changed or someone is telling naughty little lies!”

But the flamewar did not end there, and in true old-school WoW style, the thread turned into a haven for all players of Bloodhoof who’ve been wronged by somebody or something at some point in their Warcraft careers. The words “brown nosing”, “moron” and “geek” are thrown around, as well as some suggestions for people to “jump in a fire”, “stop trying to look cool”, “get a clue” and “so face it, you’re terribad” (well, teribad, but I like fixing things so it doesn’t end up looking like its me that’s the language failure).

And dare I suggest that my favourite friend, The Elitist Jerk, NOT from The Noble Europeans, has used a secret alt to make a post in this very thread? It sure seems his style, albeit without the torrent of abuse and mockery, and “GTFO”s:

I really don’t understand what you’re trying to prove by coming on here and saying this… but a small glance at the armoury shows a few things: 68 hit, another moonkin has 69 points in Balance, another moonkin has 110 hit, twoferals with the worst mix of tanking/dps gear I’ve seen. Also Strength gems. A DK tank using the Hellfire Peninsula Tanking trinket…”

In a hilarious turn of events, the guild leader of the hardcore guild that Grievous went and joined then finds this thread and posts about how Grievous has been kicked (no details, unfortunately), but goes on to give evidence that, upon making his own guild, Grievous couldn’t be bothered to make his own rules for the guild and simply copy and pasted the rules from the old guild’s website onto his own.

I know this is half-arsed and thrown together very quickly, but I just felt we needed to change the subject, or else we really might have had to change this into a “Noble Europeans Fanblog” after all. But just a small indication of the drama that exists in TNE:

moera

Eheheh.

– Katie

Racial Equality

Posted in Daine, Hakkar, Realm drama with tags , , , , on July 24, 2009 by mmoredrama

It’s been far too long, but c’est la vie. My only excuse is I have a hard life tending to the fields and walking miles to trollcollect water to provide for my family. Anyhow, despite this being a drama blog, I stumbled across an absolutely amazing thread which took precedence over everything else, period. Yes, even including my period, I’m bleeding all over my chair for however long it takes to squeeze this out. That’s dedication.

STONE and CLAW! Can you take it!?

Admittedly when I first started I assumed it was some random arrogant ‘I’m awesome’ crap that you see just about every day, but by the end of it you might go so far as to say I enjoyed a hearty chuckle indeed. Just read it out to someone with all the inflections and you’ll get what I mean. The ending was also fantastic. Unfortunately there’s not much more to say about it, except never PvP against trolls, or else shit your pants in sheer terror of their regen laughing at your feeble DPS.

Now with that not really being drama, on to another BIG PROBLEM on another generic realm. The residents of Hakkar-EU are starting to get mighty pissed off with those damn inconsiderate Italians. So much so that there are this many threads. And those are only the ones that felt they had to give the Italians a pizza their mind directly. Yes, yes, thank you. You’d think if it was that much of an issue to someone they’d just transfer really, but this guy says otherwise:

12 euro, because some fags decided that they wont adapt to reality and learn the biggest and most used language in the world? don’t think so, stupid italians who dont have enough of a brain to respect other players. “

Even the Italians hate the Italians, as some are above all this crap (obviously), whereas others are immature assholes. Damn straight, I think the same could be said for just about any English server too. Despite a lack of really good quotes for me to use, which is leading to a really poor feel to this post and makes me feel a bit of a barrel-scraper, reading about how these mafioso Italians bully anyone and everyone just gives me a throwback to Goodfellas. Even if New York Italians aren’t really the real deal.

I realise as I finish at stupid o’ clock that at least one of the anti-Italian threads is really old, but the hate stays strong through the ages. This is aptly demonstrated by a Slovenian guy getting very angry about those bastards stealing his grandfather’s land back in WW1. So, for an enthralling study into racial discrimination, human discrimination and History, look no further than Hakkar.

-Daine

P.S. One minute before midnight, I said I’d get one done today. Screw you haters!