Archive for Al’Akir

Vewy embawassing

Posted in Deathwing, Guild drama, Katie, PvE drama, Realm drama with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by mmoredrama

embarrassingOnce upon a time, on the realm of Deathwing EU, the guild of <Lockdown> were the most successful, astounding guild that had ever been seen in Azeroth. All wearing their shiney gear in Orgimmar, flexing at the poor peons around them who had never seen the inner walls of Ulduar or even Naxxrammas, Lockdown members were proud to be heroes. So proud in fact, that they were devastated to be selfishly killing the monsters of the world without giving anything back to the community.

All of those lowly peons of Orgimmar would never get to feel the satisfaction of the Ulduar greats falling to their knees (or running back to a certain spot in the room and inviting them to open a chest). Lockdown couldn’t continue to be so victorious and worthy without contributing their fair share to those that would never get to see these marvellous events directly.

“What are we going to do?” squealed the guild master at his minions. “We can’t forget about all of the ‘little people’ that have helped us become the greatest guild on Deathwing! We must do something!”

But nobody could think of anything. They sat in the old guild hall for quite some time, until the sun began to rise outside and the embers of the wooden fire began to crackle and fade away. And then…

“I’ve got it, mon!” called out a troll, excited. “We could invite them to come with us!”

“No, that will never work,” the guild master sighed, placing his corroding head into his rotten hands (he was undead, if you didn’t get it). “Only so many people can enter the dungeon. It’s always been that way.” Nobody knew why, but it was true, so they went back to thinking.

The door to the guild hall creaked open. An elderly tauren hobbled into the room, using his old staff as a walking stick. The guild members looked at him in dismay. Who was this tauren and why had he just invited himself into the room?

He said, “I was standing outside the door. I heard your discussion, and I think I have the perfect answer.”

“You do?” the guild master squeaked, excited. The tauren looked senile, but maybe he had an idea. It was worth finding out.

“Yes,” the tauren replied. “You should make a live stream of the events. You can blast them onto a huge screen in the middle of Orgrimmar for everybody to see. Use trade channel to advertise, or even spam. People must see your success. They must be able to share that glory with you.”

“That’s it!” grinned the guild master. “It’s perfect!” He pointed at a random number of trolls and orcs. “You, sort out the live streaming. You!” He pointed at a level one blood elf. “You start spamming trade chat with our mission – to show the realm our kill of Vezax on hard mode! We will be famous! It’s perfect!”

And so, the plans were in motion. Lockdown rallied the troops, organised the magical screen to appear in the middle of Orgrimmar, and positioned a number of low levels in a city so that they could spam trade chat with links. And the day came. They stood in their formation with their prettiest garments on, with the strongest elixirs and the most reliable fighters. “It is time, men!” the guild leader rallied them before they charged into battle. “It is time to show everybody exactly what we are good at!”

Twenty five members of the Horde charged into battle with the trash before General Vezax (hardmode). They wiped. And they wiped again.

“Turn off the live stream!” called out an ashamed guild master. “Don’t let them see it!”

But it was too late. In Orgrimmar, a worthy and noble tauren druid, destined for many great things, had been one of the only ones in the very small crowd that had bothered to watch Lockdown’s attempts. Watching his heroes, he felt an innate disappointment not dissimilar to the emotional devastation of his level 80 birthday where he didn’t acquire any new shapeshift forms. The anger rose inside of him – all of the emotional investment in Lockdown, his heroes, his idols – was wasted! He needed revenge… It became his mission from that moment on to bring the truth about Lockdown to the masses.


Posting progress on MMo-champ. Spamming tradechat for livestream. Wannabe Ensidia ? Now you only miss sponsors, fans and a community website.” Vewy embawassing indeedy-dums. Lockdown invited the server to watch their victory on a hardmode General Vezax, but couldn’t kill the trash and quickly turned off the live stream in an attempt to save their dignity… Seems Morani wasn’t willing to let it go though. Awesome.

– Katie

P.S. Please remember to check out the comments to this post. We love it when a person we have invited into our hearts and blog posts makes an actual appearance with comments and flames. Incarnia, a self-proclaimed maverick, gives her point of view on the whole “boob scandal” of Al’Akir. *munches*


UPDATE: Al’Akir boob drama – they got the server first, and now we get to see the goods

Posted in Al'Akir, Guild drama, Katie, Realm drama with tags , , , , , on August 8, 2009 by mmoredrama

As Daine mentioned before in this post, a civil war emerged on Al’Akir when a pretty lady named Incarnia offered a boobylicious incentive for her guild so they would work harder toget the server first Yogg+0. And joy of joys, Immersion managed to pull it out of the ballsack and get it done – all in the name of free soft porn, of course.

Well, you may have been conned by the minx as, although she’d previously stated it, she had an evil plan to avoid anybody seeing the full picture. Yes, as a music writer who obviously thinks she has a good chance of being famous one day, Incarnia ignored the fact that posting any picture at all on a realm forum to bribe a handful of horny boys to kill a boss faster is really quite geeky and might damage her reputation as a serious (or at least “cool”) musician, and explained that, “this picture is non harmful and something that I can stand for even in the future if questions arise and this picture was somehow to surface up.”

And, oh no, we weren’t expecting this at all. She didn’t deliver on her promise. SHOCKING AND COMPLETELY UNEXPECTED!


Besides the fact that this picture is complete emo and girlish in a bad way, there are a number of things about this picture that probably irritate people everywhere. The teenage boys who were looking forward to seeing the boobies of someone they’ve actually communicated with will of course be agitated by the fact that she didn’t even show cleavage – yes, there’s about as much skin on this picture as there is on the CBBC kiddy shows my cousin watches. The grammar police (including me) will be reeling at the many typos, dodgy sentence syntax errors and, ugh, the letter “U”. And yes, some people who think they’re feminists but actually stand for everything anti-feminism will bitch about the fact that the girl is giving us all a bad name.

A bit of an anti-climax, to say the least, but I’m not sure anybody expected anything else. The word “cocktease” is mentioned, she’s called “chicken shit”, and someone else pipes in, “the little girl posting pics with clouds and hearts… You’re pathetic.”
She probably would have done better to just post her damn boobs!

– Katie

Tentacle beasts, srs bisnis

Posted in Al'Akir, Daine, PvE drama, Realm drama with tags , , , , , on August 4, 2009 by mmoredrama

Yes, yes, it’s another Yogg+0 funtiems thread, but with a twist that links beautifully into my last post about how girls on the interwebs make guys go crazy. Incarnia, of Immersion on Al’Akir-EU has decided that nothing but the server first of Yogg 0 watchers will suffice, and is willing to put herself on the line to prove it in a massively attention seeking way that will have the testorone-filled ritalin addicts of the guild (and the realm) fapping for glory.


Quoting her, she soooo badly wants to get the realm first on this kill, that this alluring photograph will be revealed in its entirety to her guild members if they manage to bag the kill before Sunday. Fun fun indeed. Apex, presumably their main competition (I wouldn’t know, Celebrity and DarkStorm were both big guilds when I played there) have released counter-propaganda, though I’m not really sure it’d do it for me unless Al’Akir is the primary gay community in Europe. I will agree though that happiness in the pants is paramount to fulfilment in life.


With the boobs (and maybe more??) of a potential hotty on offer, talk of sabotage in the ranks of Apex have begun to manifest. What are server firsts compared to stylish pictures that you can wank over to the end of days? Among calls of  Incarnia being a stupid attention whoring bimbo, being one of those wenches who tarnishes the reputation of femlae gamers everywhere, Pewpy comes to the rescue with mad Paint skills to render the mystery and competition null and void with this bad boy.


I can’t be arsed to post the amendment with a dick drawn on because frankly that kind of humour is far below the high standards of this publication. Is the Paint drawing good enough for the community, or do they desire ‘real’ pictures to fuel their wet dreams for eons to come? Will raids be scheduled non-stop until the tits are free on the web for all to see? Does this story make females everywhere wish for a gender change IRL? Tits, drama, e-whores and fanboys, Al’Akir has it all.


“F U Blizzard! This game is too hard!”

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , , , , on June 10, 2009 by mmoredrama
"Wrath of the Lich King is killing this game and Blizz knows it..."

"Wrath of the Lich King is killing this game and Blizz knows it..."

Enhaisa said what we were all thinking when he made the provocative post to Blizzard on the Al’Akir forums. “What about the players who have kids/jobs? What about the players who don’t have millions of hours to waist (yeah, it was spelled that way) each week?”

The problem for Enhaisa was that the game just isn’t easy enough. He says, “You can’t buy decent weapons with just honour points at 80, which means u HAVE to try your luck in Arenas”. Either that, he says, or you have to find a guild to PVE with in order to get weapons.

Oh dear, Enhaisa. We feel for you. We really do. I mean, having to PvP or PvE in order to get gear? Shocking, simply shocking.

– Katie

Quote of the Day – June 10

Posted in Uncategorized with tags , on June 10, 2009 by mmoredrama

Today’s quote of the day was actually posted on the realm forums of Al’Akir EU 2 days ago. But I think we can be forgiven for not finding this immediately, seeing as today was the birth of the Drama Llama blog.

who cares about china its a race full of pokemon retards
who cares about china its a race full of pokemon retards

Who cares about China? It’s a race full of Pokemon retards.