Archive for Hilarious

Best blog ever

Posted in Emo, Idiocy, Katie, Quote of the Day, World of Warcraft with tags , , , , , , on August 13, 2009 by mmoredrama

We’re going to stop writing mmoredrama from now on. It’s because we just can’t compete with this guy. Read this blog. We feel ashamed to even be posting on the same internet as this awesome guy. 😦

“I just feel like working out and tear all my muscles hoping that the pain will overwhelm myself”

– Katie

Giving PvP a Hand!

Posted in Burning Blade, Daine, Idiocy, PvP drama, Realm drama, Uncategorized, World of Warcraft with tags , , , , , , , , on August 11, 2009 by mmoredrama

World PvP is a pretty rare occurence these days, with most people either ignoring it completely or just having the oddnowhining city raid because achievements are cool. Not so for these guys. Zylos Hand, of Frostwhisper, Ravenholdt, Al’Akir and now Burning Blade, have one mission and one mission only: to gank. A highly cowardly practice, I’m sure we all agree. Bolvar with stupid accents certainly does, proclaiming them ‘some kind of noob guild seriously’, and that they should ‘go raid or something’. Crying about their ganking antics aside, some of the realm seem to really enjoy the new take on things. The Hand have objectives like ganking at stones to cut supply lines, which is pretty cool imo. Due to them being a big pain in the backside, this wonderful month hath been proclaimed ‘Whack-a-Rat’ month, and the great omnipotent King Zylopfa has rallied his troops with this stirring war cry:

Greetings Sharandarat,
your subtle insult against King Zylopfa The Omnipotent
has not gone unnoticed. The iron fist of Zylos Hand will strike down
upon thee and break thee like a rotten tree struck by lightning.

Any Ratty uprising will be delt with swiftly and descicively. We shall see
in the comming days if your mouth spills over with that which your guts hold,
or if you indeed have intentions of fulfilling your redicoulous suggestion of
ratty disobedience.

To break your battle moral, the Zylophian Troubadurs and Bards have
versed their discust towards your being and your faction of furry plague carrying rodents.

Final Breath! Final Breath!
Prepare to meet the final death.
The swif blades of the Zylophians
Will spill your guts in northrend lands.

The next verse is for you Sharanda
for your courage this i’ll hand ya
Your insolence is foolishly unheard of
only a paladin with bubble/hs could dream of.

We shall fart right before you bubble
paladin with fresh air trouble?
You will be begging for mercy soon or late
like bolvar fordragon at the wrathgate.

Be warned insolent rats!
This uprising will be met with ironclad
slayers of the hand, with cow and cowdad
standing side by side defending the land
We are the Ratslayers of Zylos Hand!

Hail And K!LL, and let the battle commence!
King Zylopfa The Omnipresent.

All sounds pretty ace to me. Whining and crying about lame ganking, or a cool attempt to revitalise a dead practice? You decide. Hail and kill. (This is not technically hardcore drama I know, but it’s been dramatised in a lighthearted fashion by the members of the realm that aren’t all whining muppets.)

Moving on, the forums are aflame with complaints of a slightly different nature. Since Patch 3.2, twinks have been up in arms about the split battlegrounds; one for those wanting experience, and those for twinks wanting their free kills. This thread attempted to be a well-thought out argument about why the system is terrible, but came across as some guy whining about how he can’t beat the crap out of lowbies anymore. QQ. The OP was deleted, but some guy quoted it in full at post 10. There are many such threads and they only seem to become even more numerous, but now with the XP change to Battlegrounds, it now seems to be more of a case of ‘what other stupid obsolete crap could we possibly whine about?’. Well, for you lucky readers aspiring to be on the level of the most proficient whiners, here are some suggestions.

1) Not being able to hit higher level players. Yes indeed. How is it fair that even now twinks are gone, I can’t go into a Battleground at minimum level and pwn face with my levelling gear?? Hit needs to be removed from BGs so low levels still stand a chance of killing higher level players. It’s not like level should be an advantage in this game at all, gear and skill should be the only thing that matters!!

2) PvP servers are ruined because you can’t camp anymore! The OP, probably realising what a massive prat he was deleted his post, but I have it right here.

Not only has the destruction of twinks like myself in the BGs resulted from Blizzard’s desicion to activate experience in BGs, it’s also had ruinous effects on PVP servers – now you’re unable to corpsecamp lowbies, as they can just queue for a battleground, rez and immediately press the accept button in order to get their experience through the battlegrounds. This is completely outrageous and destroys the spirit of PVP even more than it already has been with cross-faction characters being enabled. Something must be done about this – perhaps a debuff preventing battleground access for 15 minutes after your death to another player.

Yes indeed, World PvP is dead. No longer being able to grief that level 35 hunter that killed you in STV with your level 80 is a crying shame, and I for one declare this game dead. This could indeed be a very clever troll, but then why delete the OP? Besides, it’s not like you can’t just wait for them to repop exactly where they queued from and kill them again. Hilarious nonetheless.

3) Classes aren’t balanced at lower levels! Well shit, who’da thunk it. As such, all classes should henceforth have identical skills, talents, gear and stats in Battlegrounds along with having their latency universally regulated and only be engageable by equal numbers. PvP should also take place on a rectangular map which is exactly symmetrical, and even then PC framerates might make it imbalanced.

4) Not enough experience from PvP! Yes, it’s indeed unfair that in a game primarily built around PvE, you can’t level as fast in Battlegrounds. You should get free experience for running around the middle of WSG like 90% of the other facerolling tards and just XPLODE-ing your way to 80. I wholeheartedly agree that from now on, PvP in repetitive battlegrounds should be the fastest way to level, and while you’re at it allow Recruit-a-Friend PvP mode which gives you a constant damage buff for HKing your way to victory please. And also…

5) You don’t get enough gold from levelling. If you do choose to level through your beloved, highly challenging battlegrounds, you don’t even get any money for it. Not only that, but the gear upgrades stop at 60! Now, what is the point in experience in BGs if I can’t even get anything from it and I will be underpowered and can’t even afford repairs through my glorious conquest???

Yep, WoW sucks. Not in ways you might think though, we’ve all got the boredom factor, or the free epics, or it getting easier and yadda-yadda sadface. If you wanted to be a bit more original in your Blizzard hate though, the PvP forums are churning out some pure gold in terms of solid, imaginative problems and solutions to make this shitty game back into the powerhouse it once was.

-Daine

Vewy embawassing

Posted in Deathwing, Guild drama, Katie, PvE drama, Realm drama with tags , , , , , , , , , , on August 10, 2009 by mmoredrama

embarrassingOnce upon a time, on the realm of Deathwing EU, the guild of <Lockdown> were the most successful, astounding guild that had ever been seen in Azeroth. All wearing their shiney gear in Orgimmar, flexing at the poor peons around them who had never seen the inner walls of Ulduar or even Naxxrammas, Lockdown members were proud to be heroes. So proud in fact, that they were devastated to be selfishly killing the monsters of the world without giving anything back to the community.

All of those lowly peons of Orgimmar would never get to feel the satisfaction of the Ulduar greats falling to their knees (or running back to a certain spot in the room and inviting them to open a chest). Lockdown couldn’t continue to be so victorious and worthy without contributing their fair share to those that would never get to see these marvellous events directly.

“What are we going to do?” squealed the guild master at his minions. “We can’t forget about all of the ‘little people’ that have helped us become the greatest guild on Deathwing! We must do something!”

But nobody could think of anything. They sat in the old guild hall for quite some time, until the sun began to rise outside and the embers of the wooden fire began to crackle and fade away. And then…

“I’ve got it, mon!” called out a troll, excited. “We could invite them to come with us!”

“No, that will never work,” the guild master sighed, placing his corroding head into his rotten hands (he was undead, if you didn’t get it). “Only so many people can enter the dungeon. It’s always been that way.” Nobody knew why, but it was true, so they went back to thinking.

The door to the guild hall creaked open. An elderly tauren hobbled into the room, using his old staff as a walking stick. The guild members looked at him in dismay. Who was this tauren and why had he just invited himself into the room?

He said, “I was standing outside the door. I heard your discussion, and I think I have the perfect answer.”

“You do?” the guild master squeaked, excited. The tauren looked senile, but maybe he had an idea. It was worth finding out.

“Yes,” the tauren replied. “You should make a live stream of the events. You can blast them onto a huge screen in the middle of Orgrimmar for everybody to see. Use trade channel to advertise, or even spam. People must see your success. They must be able to share that glory with you.”

“That’s it!” grinned the guild master. “It’s perfect!” He pointed at a random number of trolls and orcs. “You, sort out the live streaming. You!” He pointed at a level one blood elf. “You start spamming trade chat with our mission – to show the realm our kill of Vezax on hard mode! We will be famous! It’s perfect!”

And so, the plans were in motion. Lockdown rallied the troops, organised the magical screen to appear in the middle of Orgrimmar, and positioned a number of low levels in a city so that they could spam trade chat with links. And the day came. They stood in their formation with their prettiest garments on, with the strongest elixirs and the most reliable fighters. “It is time, men!” the guild leader rallied them before they charged into battle. “It is time to show everybody exactly what we are good at!”

Twenty five members of the Horde charged into battle with the trash before General Vezax (hardmode). They wiped. And they wiped again.

“Turn off the live stream!” called out an ashamed guild master. “Don’t let them see it!”

But it was too late. In Orgrimmar, a worthy and noble tauren druid, destined for many great things, had been one of the only ones in the very small crowd that had bothered to watch Lockdown’s attempts. Watching his heroes, he felt an innate disappointment not dissimilar to the emotional devastation of his level 80 birthday where he didn’t acquire any new shapeshift forms. The anger rose inside of him – all of the emotional investment in Lockdown, his heroes, his idols – was wasted! He needed revenge… It became his mission from that moment on to bring the truth about Lockdown to the masses.

==============

Posting progress on MMo-champ. Spamming tradechat for livestream. Wannabe Ensidia ? Now you only miss sponsors, fans and a community website.” Vewy embawassing indeedy-dums. Lockdown invited the server to watch their victory on a hardmode General Vezax, but couldn’t kill the trash and quickly turned off the live stream in an attempt to save their dignity… Seems Morani wasn’t willing to let it go though. Awesome.

– Katie

P.S. Please remember to check out the comments to this post. We love it when a person we have invited into our hearts and blog posts makes an actual appearance with comments and flames. Incarnia, a self-proclaimed maverick, gives her point of view on the whole “boob scandal” of Al’Akir. *munches*

Racial Equality

Posted in Daine, Hakkar, Realm drama with tags , , , , on July 24, 2009 by mmoredrama

It’s been far too long, but c’est la vie. My only excuse is I have a hard life tending to the fields and walking miles to trollcollect water to provide for my family. Anyhow, despite this being a drama blog, I stumbled across an absolutely amazing thread which took precedence over everything else, period. Yes, even including my period, I’m bleeding all over my chair for however long it takes to squeeze this out. That’s dedication.

STONE and CLAW! Can you take it!?

Admittedly when I first started I assumed it was some random arrogant ‘I’m awesome’ crap that you see just about every day, but by the end of it you might go so far as to say I enjoyed a hearty chuckle indeed. Just read it out to someone with all the inflections and you’ll get what I mean. The ending was also fantastic. Unfortunately there’s not much more to say about it, except never PvP against trolls, or else shit your pants in sheer terror of their regen laughing at your feeble DPS.

Now with that not really being drama, on to another BIG PROBLEM on another generic realm. The residents of Hakkar-EU are starting to get mighty pissed off with those damn inconsiderate Italians. So much so that there are this many threads. And those are only the ones that felt they had to give the Italians a pizza their mind directly. Yes, yes, thank you. You’d think if it was that much of an issue to someone they’d just transfer really, but this guy says otherwise:

12 euro, because some fags decided that they wont adapt to reality and learn the biggest and most used language in the world? don’t think so, stupid italians who dont have enough of a brain to respect other players. “

Even the Italians hate the Italians, as some are above all this crap (obviously), whereas others are immature assholes. Damn straight, I think the same could be said for just about any English server too. Despite a lack of really good quotes for me to use, which is leading to a really poor feel to this post and makes me feel a bit of a barrel-scraper, reading about how these mafioso Italians bully anyone and everyone just gives me a throwback to Goodfellas. Even if New York Italians aren’t really the real deal.

I realise as I finish at stupid o’ clock that at least one of the anti-Italian threads is really old, but the hate stays strong through the ages. This is aptly demonstrated by a Slovenian guy getting very angry about those bastards stealing his grandfather’s land back in WW1. So, for an enthralling study into racial discrimination, human discrimination and History, look no further than Hakkar.

-Daine

P.S. One minute before midnight, I said I’d get one done today. Screw you haters!

Finger lickin’ good

Posted in Daine, Defias Brotherhood, Realm drama, RP drama with tags , , , , on July 4, 2009 by mmoredrama

Is this a lame topic to pick on? Maybe. Is there drama? Not really. Is it hilarious? Yes.kfc

And so, finally, some news from the homeland of Defias Brotherhood. A RP-PvP server renowned for the high quality of roleplay it serves up to the community. Recently, a certain Bishop had banned Death Knights from the Cathedral in Stormwind and little wars between light-lovers and the near-corpses were breaking out in /e all over the city. Nothing worked however, the squabbles ending in angered whispers accussing god-emoting and unfair fights. The mood was tense in Stormwind, and from an outsider’s PoV, I wondered what the hell the big deal was with Death Knights wanting to use the Cathedral anyway? Well now we have the truth; the Light purifies the loins of the diseased cretins, allowing for rampant fornication.

Thanks to someone posting under the guise of Oryn, we were informed of just what dirty deeds took place when the Death Knights finally reached their strangely inverted Holy Land. This. Some frantic lovemakin’ action. Aww yee. The images I feel give us an educational insight into how, when Judgement Day comes, the human race will still prevail by joining themselves in such a fashion. Also, if you ever come down to needing to sexually placate a zombie, use the following techniques.

1) If a female, slowly masturbate whilst your potential partner frantically tears off their crotchpiece, then hold the finger under their nose. Apparently, the smell of 3 month old sunbaked haddock is just the aphrodisiac your zombie friend will need to get the blood flowing.

2) Secondly, learn to tighten your vagina while relaxing while being rather tense. This is something I need to teach Katie how to do regardless, but be sure to start exercising those pelvic floor muscles now so that you can master the ‘tighty-loosy’ wave effect that is needed to keep these zombies slavering for more.

3) If a male, massage her chest. A lot. And wear neck protection, clawing is seemingly a big factor. Treat the female zombie with contempt to heighten her arousal.

Remember these simple tips, and they should keep you alive long enough when confronted with walking cadavers to get away until more research is available on the subject. Cyber has long been present on RP realms around the globe, but never has one act of virtual passion given us so much insight into a hitherto unknown sexual scenario. We can only thank Morthimer and Nenaeve for their continued pursuit of passion, and in doing so educating us in preparation for inevitable future situations. Thank you, friends.

-Daine

P.S. For clarity’s sake Katie is not actually loose at all, it is nothing like slinging a hot dog down a corridor. However, I do think the whole tight-loose wave effect would be pretty awesome.

Stop, Jellytime!

Posted in Daine, Guild drama, Shattered Hand with tags , , , , , on July 2, 2009 by mmoredrama

Yeah, Katie is now hanging outside as a gutless carcass for spreading news that shouldn’t have been spread before I got to. I take over now. And don’t moan at me if you feel I don’t do enough, I work dammit 😦

Anyway, DRAMA. Jellytime, a noble and famed troll of Shattered Hands has pulled of the mother of all drama-inducingpeanut-butter-jelly-time stunts (Death and Taxes porn excluded) this week. Firstly, the badass druid with the wobbly name decided that he wasn’t a fan of his guild Epicfabriken anymore, and so opted to ninja a Fragment from Yogg because Group Loot, after 4 long years, is still used by some clowns. Not content with his newly acquired 3.333333% of a legendary, our gelatinous friend joins a OS25 3D group where, you may have guessed, he ninjas the Black Drake. Jellytime 2-0 Group Loot. He was awfully proud of this achievement, as you would be. However, not to be stinted by his reputation like most ninjas, Jellytime then continued forth on his quest, applying to NooN and lying through his teeth about his reason for leaving Epicfabriken.

“Jellytime wrote:Epicfabriken,Left em because of a certain important person in the guild.
“Borrowed” 6Runed orbs,4-5Artic fur and a around 3000g from me and went inactive.
Then when he came back he didnt want too pay me back and started getting cocky against me etc.
So i basicly %%!* them over because they %%!*ed me over.
Simple as that,I can never trust anyone inside EF anymore”

Excuse the OP’s illiteracy, it happens. The cheek! After his shameless thieving antics, Jellytime heaps the shame on his old GM and gains a new group of friends. The GM’s loyal subjects race to his defence, shocked and appalled at the slander of his good name. The best part of all though? NooN know that he’s a ninja. They recruit ninjas all the time. Who cares so long as they do sum gd DeePS rite?? Who knows. All I know is that Jellytime/Parla gets 10 out of 10 for being the best, most audacious and charming ninja I ever did see. Mad props dood.

***RL DRAMA***

In a shocking real life story of bravery and survival against the odds, Katie and Daine successfully rescued a man from certain death whilst walking the dog today. The man, in his mid-30s, had passed out with no-one for miles around. Sensing something was wrong due to his extraordinary sense of smell, Daine sprinted to the fallen man. Noticing his peril, he quickly prepped the man for CPR as Katie arrived on the scene. Hearing a cry from a nearby bush, Katie retrieved the man’s baby, feeding it a dog treat to save it from certain starvation whilst paramedics were just arriving on the scene. After helping man and baby into the ambulance, the paramedics informed the two heroes that without them, two lives would’ve been lost this day. (Disclaimer: Slight artistic license abuse for effect)

Seriously though we thought we’d stumbled upon a body. It was only a drunk guy 😦

-Daine


Wiimage of Bladefist has uncovered a dark truth

Posted in Bladefist, Conspiracy, Katie, Realm drama with tags , , , , , , , on July 1, 2009 by mmoredrama

conspiracy

Now here is some serious WoW business. I mean, thank goodness Wiimage is here, or I would have no idea that I was about to die in World War 3. You heard it here first (or maybe in Wiimage’s thread if you’re as widely read on the realm forums as I am). We are due to enter a war constructed by the secret rulers of the planet, the New World Order, so that the population can be reduced.

Wiimage argues his case so perfectly that it’s impossible to believe that he could be wrong. He asserts that the New World Order have been around for the past 100 years, and are progressing very slowly so that we don’t notice. But amongst their plans for absolute world domination, they are planning to have us all tagged with chips: “They contain all of your data and GPS coordinates and if they turn your chip of remotely it will be like you never existed and you will most likely starve and die because you cant pay for food without a chip. There are also plans to plant a poison inside the chips that can be activated at any time killing you instantly if you are trying to resist or simply if the NWO feels like killing you.”

This is some scary discussion for the World of Warcraft realm forums, but Wiimage is SO dedicated to making us all aware of our future that he is relentlessly unstoppable. Apparently, he has already posted 2 or 3 threads on the issue before – all locked and deleted – and is still desperate to have his words heard. He offers various links to “proof” about the New World Order, explaining that our rights to own a gun will be taken away (I think I can live with that), and that we have all been brainwashed into believing that they don’t exist as the New World Order have control over the mass media, including YouTube. Indeed, they meddle with the view counter of anti-NWO propoganda so that the short clips never reached the “featured section” (well, if I had that much power, I think I’d just delete the damn videos, not meddle with the view counter).

People don’t take kindly to Wiimage’s warning, even though the poor fellow is only trying to help us become more aware so that we can fight back, saying, “Im happy that a friend told me about this and now im doing my best to wake the world.”

Of course, he was met with scepticism (infact, he was met with NOTHING but scepticism), with fed up realm mates insinuating he was crazy, such as Sargon: “I hear you can craft excellent tinfoil hats out of aluminium these days.”

BUT WHAT IF WIIMAGE IS RIGHT!? He sure thinks he is, and he thinks that on some level, we all think he is. He says, “You dont dare to watch it because you are afraid of the truth and that what im saying is in fact true”. Yep, that’s exactly why nobody’s wasting 10 minutes of their life on a movie which declares Obama to be the future world dictator who wants to kill us all.

– Katie